It takes a special kind of bravery—or pure stupidity—to insult a Highway Patrolman while he is actively writing you a hefty speeding ticket in the sweltering summer heat.
The officer stood by the driver’s window, glaring down at the motorist while furiously swatting at a cloud of persistent bugs circling his head.
“Man, those circle flies are absolutely brutal this year, aren’t they?” the driver remarked casually.
The cop paused his pen. “Yeah, they’re annoying. But I’ve never heard of a ‘circle fly.’ What the hell is that?”
“Oh, they’re a unique species,” the driver explained helpfully. “They’re intensely attracted to livestock. Specifically, they have a habit of buzzing exclusively around a horse’s backside.”
The patrolman’s eyes narrowed as the math clicked in his head. “Are you trying to call me a horse’s ass, sir? Because insulting an officer of the law is a fast track to jail.”
“Oh, absolutely not, Officer!” the driver backtracked with total innocence. “I have the utmost respect for the badge. I would never dream of calling you a horse’s ass. I’m terribly sorry if it came out that way.”
The cop grunted, satisfied with the submission. “Good. Didn’t think so.”
The driver smiled, rolled his eyes up toward the officer’s hat, and murmured:
“Yep… but there’s just no fooling those damn flies, is there?”
