The Pastor’s Longest Sermon Ever… For One Very Unexpected Reason
A pastor went to the dentist for a set of f*lse teeth.
The first Sunday after getting his teeth, he preached for only eight minutes.
The second Sunday, he preached only 10 minutes.
But the following Sunday, he preached nonstop for nearly three hours… until the congregation realized he couldn’t quit, and finally helped him sit down.
Concerned for his health, they asked, “Are you Okay? What happened?”
The pastor explained, “Well, the first Sunday with my new teeth, my gums were so sore I couldn’t preach longer than 8 minutes. The second Sunday, I felt I could go a little longer to 10 minutes. But, today, I mistakenly put my wife’s teeth in, and discovered I couldn’t shut up.”
Once in the air a passenger asks the flight attendant:
“Why did we take off so late?”
To which the flight attendant replies:
“Well, the pilot noticed some smoke and weird noises coming from the left engine and it took us a while to find another pilot willing to fly this plane.”
A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him.
He stopped one of the runners and asked, “What’s happening?”
The runner replied breathlessly, “A lion has escaped from the zoo.”
“Oh my, which way is it heading?”
“Well you don’t think we are chasing it, do you?”
On a recent flight I was on, this elderly woman kept peering out the window.
Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing tip light.
Finally, she rang for the flight attendant.
“I’m sorry to bother you,” she said, “but I think you should inform the pilot that his left-turn indicator is on and has been for some time.”
