A priest is riding a cab
A priest gets a taxi. While driving, the taxi driver is being extremely obnoxious. Every time the car gets into a small pit in the road, the taxi driver says “F*ck!” or “Sh*t!”. The priest is silent.
Then they accidentally hit a pothole, and the taxi driver goes “M*therf*ck*r!”. Then they hit a crack in the road and the driver yet again goes “For f*ck’s s*ke!”.
The priest cannot handle it no more so he goes: “Sir, why are you cussing every time? Instead of swearing, say “May the Lord have mercy” and all will be fine!”.
They continue driving. For some unknown reason, the car starts drifting, the driver loses control of his car, get’s its tire into a hatch in the ground so that this tire flies off in the distance, and the car itself is on the verge of turning over, so the driver shouts out: “Lord, have mercy!”, and the car is immediately tipped back on, reversed back on the road, and the tire flies back into its position.
The man goes: “Lord, thank you!”, while the priest goes: “Jesus f*cking Christ, that’s new!”.
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Little Johnny is sitting in class one day, and the teacher is going to go over agricultural stuff, like farms, and whatnot.
So she asks the class how does a farmer tell the weather on his farm, nobody seems to know, except of course, little johnny, who’s frantically waving his hand with the answer, so she decides to let him try to answer the question.
Little Johnny says: the farmer uses a weather vane to tell the weather!”
ok, that wasn’t so bad, so the teacher then asks the class what kind of animal is the weather vane?
again no one but little Johnny seems to know the answer.
Reluctantly she lets him answer.
Little Johnny says with a big smile on his face: “why teacher, it’s a cock!”,
well the teacher sighs to herself well after all it is.
So next the teacher asks the class:
” can anyone tell me why does the farmer use a cock on the barn as a weather vane?”
Of course, the same dumb blank look on all of the kid’s faces, except of course, for little Johnny,
again she reluctantly allows him to answer the question, knowing she’s probably not gonna like the way he phrases it.
Little Johnny stands up in front of the whole class and sez with a really big grin on his face:
“It’s a cock, cuz as everyone knows if it were a c*nt, the f*cken wind would just blow right thru it!”
