An older couple were lying in bed one night.
The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.
She said: “You used to hold my hand when we were courting.”
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep.
A few moments later she said: “Then you used to kiss me.”
Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek, and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said: Then you use to bite my neck”
Angrily, he threw back the bedclothes and got out of bed.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“To get my teeth!”
Little Johnny failed his math test dismally.
His mark was so bad, his teacher called home to have a word with his dad.
When he returned home that afternoon, his father was standing crossly in the doorway. “Why did you fail your math test?” he asked.
Little Johnny shrugged and said: “My teacher isn’t very good.”
Johnny’s father was astonished by his excuse and urged him to expand. “Well, on Monday, my teacher said 3+5 = 8.”
“So?” his father replied.
“Then on Tuesday, she told us 4+4 = 8, and on Wednesday she said 6+2 = 8,” explained the child.,
“If she doesn’t know what equals eight, how am I supposed to know the right answer?”
